


Forever's gonna start tonight

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Despair, Established Relationship, Ficlet, M/M, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 06:59:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15600849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Of all Yuya had had to face during the past months, seeing Yuri cry was something he didn’t feel ready for.





	Forever's gonna start tonight

Of all Yuya had had to face during the past months, seeing Yuri cry was something he didn’t feel ready for.

He had felt bad for so long and so much, and Yuya had never once seen him shed a tear, and that was what had prevented him from breaking down, from giving up and surrender to the fact that there was nothing left to be done.

Now that he saw him like this, sitting on the bed crying his eyes out, he finally realized it was actually happening, that it was over, and that had come the time to stop fighting and start to countdown.

It wasn’t fair, and he didn’t want to.

He sat next to him on the bed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, holding him softly against himself.

“Baby...” he murmured, his voice hoarse. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he asked, pretending he didn’t know the answer.

Chinen shook his head, letting go against him and drying up his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Nothing, Yuu. I'm just tired.”

He sighed, biting hard on his lower lip to prevent himself from crying again, while the elder was forced to do the same.

“Don’t be like that. I know you’re tired, but it’s not going to be for long. The doctors are going to find a solution and you’ll be...”

“Yuya!” the younger interrupted him, sitting straight up. “Stop it, I'm serious. Stop trying to convince yourself and me that there’s still a solution. We’ve been busting our heads over it for months. That’s enough. I can't take it anymore.” he cried again, this time quietly.

Yuya didn’t know what to say. He hated that feeling of impotence given from Yuri’s condition, he hated the way it exasperated him having fought so much with zero results.

The clock-hands had stopped now, and there was nothing they could do to go back, to give Yuri more time, to grant him even one moment more than he had left to live.

It would've been pointless anyway, it would've served the only purpose of dragging that agonizing wait, Yuya  knew that.

He held him tight in his arms, closing his eyes and softly kissing his face, his lips barely brushing it, while he felt the younger’s body give in under his own.

There was no strength left inside that body, there was no will to fight and no excuse offered to Yuya for him to keep believing into something that wasn’t going to happen.

“I wish you weren’t forced to undergo all this, Yuu.” Yuri murmured, raising his eyes on him. “I wish I could leave you behind, I wish I could stop loving you, because it makes no sense for me at this point, but...” his voice broke, and he took a moment before speaking again. “I'm selfish. And I don’t want to learn to make it on my own for what time I have left.”

The elder felt a sharp pain in his chest hearing him say that as if it meant nothing, and he held him even tighter.

“You wouldn’t get far enough to be out of my reach. If...” he let go of him, brushing his hands over his face and sighing. “If we want to stop fighting, then let me at least be next to you. Don’t let me have any regret, Yuri, because regretting the time I could've spent with you and how I would've liked to spend it would kill me forever after...”

He seemed to realize just now where his words were going, and any attempt to control himself was vain then.

He cried, Yuya. He started crying and he vented all he had felt during those months spent chasing after nothing, he felt Yuri bring an arm behind his back and soothe him, when it should've been the opposite.

“I'm sorry, Yuri.” he murmured, trying to keep his voice steady. “I'm sorry, but I can't...”

“That’s why I’d get away, Yuu. I can't stand that you have to cry for me, suffer for me, face all that’s going to happen... after.”

Takaki dried up his face, shaking his head.

“It’s not your fault, Yuri. And I don’t want you to see it this way; if I feel like this, it’s because I love you. And there’s nothing you could do to change that.” he said, frowning.

He helped him lay on the bed, watching him close his eyes without answering, as if he was too tired to do so, as if he didn’t have the strength to face that subject.

As if knowing that Yuya loved him was enough, and the elder hoped it actually was like that.

He laid next to him, bringing an arm beneath his head and letting him lean against him, watching him cave to tiredness and trying to burn in his mind every single detail of having him so close, as if memories were going to be enough once the younger would've been gone.

He cried a little more, silently.

He wished he could've done something to ease that pain, both of their pain, but Yuri was right.

It had been over before it had even started, and he should've surrendered with Yuri.

And with Yuri, after all, he felt he would've also liked to die.


End file.
